That's right,
If tomorrow doesn't exist, no matter what i have is meaningless...

If tomorrow doesn't exist, i don't even need friends...

If tomorrow doesn't exist, even living is meaningless..


The entire world in the flow,  exist, and has meaning.

Because of the moment the world was cut out, nothing is change, and everything
has lost meaning.





People keep money  for the sake of living through tomorrow.

For the sake of enjoying tomorrow, they keep things.

For the sake of talking about tomorrow, they have friends.

For the sake of looking towards tomorrow together, they have love.

For the sake of living tomorrow, they have LIFE!!





Why are people so afraid???  of pain, loss or death??
Because... they fear  because they do not know,
The root of their fear is the unknown, so they will remain perpetually ignorant.


The anxiety that everyone hold deep within their hearts. That is TOMORROW.

If you realize your own anxiety,  your dread will transform.
The dread's advance will halt.

Because of fear, they turn their backs.
Because of fear, they shut their eyes.

If tomorrow doesn't  come,
all anxiety will be disappear,


However,
No one knows about tomorrow,
tomorrow might not be alright.
But, if tomorrow don't come, everything loses meaning.
That's why tomorrow has to come.

 

I was surprise when i receive this letter. i thought its from some "admire" or Hard "fans" of mine to me.









                                     " Love Letter"




It's indicate that it's a love letter ... and its specially to me









at first i saw this... and... what the hell??


"what goes in hard, comes out soft, and gives a woman lots of pleasure?"


P****??
No way i will shove all the way for my...... to pleasure woman.

ok honestly, i can't think of the answer.









And there is ton and tons of sweet sweet msg... even very very hardcore hardo gay like me will get touched, you know?


Special thanks to all my fellow mates at cyberjaya. Yeen phang, Belle, Bryan,William, raj, siao bear, danson, paul, ting yang, wei loong, yuhan, kah wah, oh yeah, not to forget simsum. thanks you guys! friend like you are golden!

 
the answer is chocolate.

and sim sum even wrote :

"We love Hard Gay no matter what's ur name;
No matter what ur size;
No matter what language u speak;
We simple love you as how you are being!! '

(this touched me =D)
Now you get it why hard gay is so matter to everyone?






and this if from bella.....uh... isabelle, i hope u gain more weight in future..



Thanks Guy, gud luck with ur final!

If not i had received a bunch of msg this morning, i probably had miss out my 20th birthday.


Thanks Guy!  I m very delighted when so many friends remember my big days.



Hard-gay is turning 20. just another year to go, before hard0gay officially participate in politics.

Lee Chong Wei






I still remember during the Swiss open the result arent that bad when he go againts Lin Dan.

21-13 21-18





and now.. its not even close..

21-12 21- 8

a quick match without a sweat...



There is a lot of factor given by people who had watched the game of why he lost the game.
well,
some people goin to say he is breaking my ball....
and Most people goin to say he is facing a lot of stress...
and 1/4 people goin to say he cant bring any glory back to malaysia  becoz he is chinese by "some PEOPLE"( you know wad i mean)
and some people goin to say he purposely lose, dont wan so many glory( which is impossible, what kind of human are you dont wan any glory? who dont want any 风头??you dont wish to publish your face big big at magazine kah?)






* can you find MALAYSIA at the medal listing? i can't find MALAYSIA ....

Wait! maybe tommorow paper's ada.

T--P--C : I like play by the rules!

Shamanism: NO! You wrong! Nobody Like to play by the rules, People Only play by the rules that apply to them which beneficial for them. 

T--P--C : No! You wrong Douche bag!

Shamanism : Why the hell you had to be so kiasu??
Shamanism : its just a game!

T--P--C : who??

<quit>
<system lost>




I don't get it...  It's just a normal casual game, it's suppose to be fun. Why the hell they had to be so serious??? As if you not like goin to win any medal, or gain any cash by winning the game? It's spoil the fun... totally...


Like the joker said :












Even the politics don't play by the rules... They make anything necessary in order to ensure their victory...

check out the anwar...
Do you really think he is gay?? and if he is, do you think his wife still will stick around with him???
he is not the richest man, or the powerful man. There is no reason for her wife to stick around with him, if he is gay right?
And even if your husband, have changes in sexual behaviour, i bet , the wife is the first to know.


well, its just my point, you don't hav to totally agree wtih me tho.
what i wan to say is, its clearly, even the idiot know he is been sack!  except my dad, yeah, hate to admit, but my dad really idiot enough to believes everything reported  in newspaper and believes he is gay. geezzz.....





COme on man....

Why so serious?? i mean, you should get serious, when its comes down to real business, real deal.. but... this? this is just game man... casual, fun, game.. If, you really intend to play fair, then just play fair, no dirty trick, no cheating, no lies.






 

Jacky sudah pergi...

I m so upset...

i m playing "Dumb Reminders" by No Use For A name again , and again.
as it's always rewinding the dumb reminder's of mine. It's either filled with pain, agony, stupid or humiliating.

I used to enjoyed the breezing wind in high place of my apartment, swept my face with its fingers like hypnotizing, slowly peeling my sadness away somehow. And its get me carried away, calm me down. Mayb, giving me some inspiration.

i came across some friend over the net. who never get to celebrate father's day with. Or should i say they feel awkward for celebrating something without anyone to celebrate for..Or totally clueless bout who their father is. or pissing off why their father's still nowhere about to claim them or finding them?

And the question of "Where is the Love?" popping up in my head. There is none institution or school in the world taught bout love. Nor a subject,text, or books tells you how to love. As far i concerned, You need family for that, You need to feel on your own by encounter with the related person. Fatherly love? I wonder how those kid without father going to raise their own children? i mean, they never knew their father, or feeling even a tiny tipsy father's warmth know  how to express their love, and raise up their kids on the correct method?

Yeah, i know, its none of my business. It just some of my concerned trouble my thoughts.


Then, this question somehow come across my mind. What if, your long lost parent suddenly claim you?


I mean, after all this you, you been successful, and well known in media, tv, magazine. They suddenly claim you, or should i say... "collect" you?

No particular reason why they abandon you at the very first place. Just suddenly had a thought that you are some kind of hindrance and burden.

Nonetheless, they still requesting you to support their family, the siblings.


What would you do?
Are you goin to totally ignore the loser who abandon you at the first place?
or
Are you goin to Slap him hard and then hug him like there is no tomorrow?
or
Are you goin to digging more bout the truth, family history, and then abandon them like who they abandon you once were?
or
Are you goin to forgive everything, and love them, accept them coz you believes that karma does exist?


Well, Forgiving is divining. I m not such a divine person. Yes, i m a self-fish man just like the rest of you.

Tell me...
How you going to forgive nor accept someone whom you hated..detest..most? 
Yes.. i m talking bout my sister. My flesh and blood sister whom share the same womb of my mum.

Yes, you may assume it just a normal bro-sis fight. It is a not! its way complicated! and i can bet with my life, you never ever meet someone as bitchy as her.


My sister used to (that what she claimed yesterday)  as selfish, arrogant,  fiery tempered, and never knew how lucky she was. That's why, she never had any friends. untill now.

Yes, she used to be jealous with me and my brother. And i hav no idea where the hell she get the stingy thought that my parent prefearble boys than girls.  My parent love me and my brother more than her.  

but in the matter of fact that, from what i saw, my parent treat us 3 equally until that day she burst outrage and scream at everybody. me, mum and dad.

and since then, my parent "afraid " of her. They dont even allow me to says anything to her even she did something wrong. My god, eveything turns upside down since then. I never forget the day, she not letting my dad to use her car send me to tuition. thats not all, she is so selfish, that everything has to goes as long as its convenient for her without even considerate my parent nor me. To my surprise, my parent let her.  thats not all, she is 30 years old, and her payed salary is much more than my mum and dad. Yet, she need my parent to pay for her phone bills and credit card.
There is just once, i forgot to pay her phone bills, i get nagged by my parent. my carelessness cannot be pardon.My sister influence is huge, she can influence my mum and dad just a few magic words. I used to remember that, i dint end up form 6 becoz of my sister influentia over my father. I fed up.


Now, just bout yesterday, we had a fight, and she asked me why i hated her so much. and she wanted to talk. tell, me in that situation , how i m goin to tell she is jerk ass? as she is not a patient lady that take bad news. She even furiosly angry! god damn it! If i tell her, she will tell mum, and i get screwed for sure.
She only thought she is hurt, i m not. I am what she had make me becum. I am the damaged here!

and she claim, she changed and turned over new leaf. and she apologize for her wrong doing that she has clueless about and asked me to accepted as her part of family.
Well i said, family my shit, how i m goin to accept her just like that after 10 years of grudge? Yea, yeah, you might say, if i m don't forgive her, how i m goin to expect god forgive me for my sins? Well i admit, at this point, i m a selfish man.

But tell me, if goverment declared that tomolo's petrol price hike up to RM5 per litre, can u go and accept it?its the same thing as you demand the goverment to drop the price of petrol down to 20cent per litre. its the same thing. its not impossible, but just difficult.
 yes, its takes time, but its might as well as take as forever.

Yes the title says it all:
just like another spring has started, the bird is chipping, the flower is blooming, and everything seems wonderful.



Every since i came back, and when i started to visit the kopi shop at lao li. Things change. coz...... i found something that bring me more to lifes. I m in love......








I



M




IN



L


O


V


E




with.....
























ROTI CANAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Available at Lao LI green road. Only available at morning. If you lucky you might still able to grap pieces of Roti cheese at 9 am... i mean.. if you lucky....

when i was a kid, i always watching evening news...

either, it's bout  disaster happened in some particular country..


or

it's bout new deadly diseases that happened to wipe out 1/4 human of the world wide.


from what i had saw,

the world seems like a very sad place to live.


hunger,diseases,corruption,depravity, discrimination, war and terroism....


the hateful cycle repeat itself again and again, for over the past few hundred century.

the same foolish repeatition, by the same foolish human being.

someone has to stop this cycle, if there is that "someone".

of course, "the one" who does should not hav lose anything.


to give them a world without war, fear, profilgacy....



to end this tragic series to be repeat itself again.